Thursday, October 16, 2008

Children At Weddings

Let the kids come...

Occasionally folks will ask me how I feel about children attending a wedding ceremony. My answer: bring 'em on, especially if they happen to be related to the bride and groom. Children need to see these festive occasions and be included. If they get restless or make a little noise, it doesn't bother me. What I advise couples who ask me these questions is this: Let the children come to the wedding; if they decide to be a child in the middle of the ceremony, then we just pause a moment and let them be a child. Absolute silence just isn't that important to me, a thought which I'm sure will come as a shock to my own children.


As always, the decision on whether to have children attend the ceremony should be completely up to the bride and groom.

My particular favorite kind of wedding ceremony involves blended families where the bride or groom (or both) have children from a previous marriage. Including the kids does several things. It shows them respect to be included and it subconsciously gives the child a feeling of "ownership" in the whole family relationship. Giving them some kind of gift (after the bride & groom exchange rings) goes that much further in making the child feel included.

The little girl in the picture is the daughter of the groom; I didn't know they snapped this picture. Right before the ceremony she was asking me questions about the wedding, where she would stand and a dozen other things on the mind of an eight year old child. She and her brothers did just fine as the flower girl and groomsmen.

There's nothing quite as touching or humbling as looking into the eyes of a child when they look to you for answers.
Blessings,
Ken

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